Dressed in typical Mexican costumes, Lourdes and Sabas Falcón will celebrate this Sunday, February 9, their 45th wedding anniversary at a ceremony in the Cathedral of Our Lady of Los Angeles with about 50 couples who, like them, celebrate this year many decades of Union.
The celebration of renewal of wedding vows takes place right on World Marriage Day. The Spanish Mass will be officiated at 12:30 noon by the bishop of Los Angeles, José H. Gómez who will take the official photo of the memory with the couples at the end of the ceremony.
But what has been his secret for such a long married life.
"Communication," says Lourdes, an immigrant from Durango, Mexico; while you know her husband, who is from Guanajuato, Mexico adds that for a marriage to last, it takes a lot of patience and acceptance.
She was 16 years old; and he, 27 years old when they met in Tijuana, Mexico.
"We were neighbors," says Sabás, who never thought the relationship would bear fruit due to the age difference of 11 years. Lourdes also believed that it was only a courtship to have a good time because she had only gone to Tijuana for a season.
However, Sabás says that Lourdes was very mature and very tenacious for her age, as well as very affectionate. At the same time, she was a very reserved girl, which gave a touch of mystery that attracted her a lot.
Lourdes says that she fell in love with Sabás because she was responsible and hardworking.
Two years after meeting, on June 30, 1975, they married when Lourdes turned 18.
Lourdes and Sabás live in the city of Montebello and are parents of four children, Jorge, 44; Maya of 40; Cynthia of 38; Gabriel of 34; and they have two grandchildren of 8 and 4 years old.
Why don't many marriages last?
You know that it is because we live in a society in which everything is replaced. "Couples arrive with that mentality to marriage," he observes.
"Outside there are many temptations that begin with a look, but sometimes it's just a mirage," he says.
Lourdes adds that selfishness is a factor against couples, and the desire to want to impose opinions on the other.
When emigrating to the United States, Lourdes and Sabás faced the challenge of a possible separation because the early years did not have immigration status. It was not until Reagan's Amnesty arrived in the 1980s that they were able to obtain residence.
"Those years as undocumented people lived with great nervousness and fear that one of us would be arrested and deported," says Lourdes.
In addition, raising children alone without a close relative was a challenge. “I had my first child at 19. I remember that I received a letter from my mother advising me how to take care of my baby's navel when it had already dropped. Everything was by letter at that time because calling over the long distance was very expensive, ”he says.
The couple agrees that their closeness to God and their Catholic faith have helped them a lot.
Already retired the two, their relationship has been enriched because they have more time for them. “We talked a lot, we had breakfast together every day, we go to Mass very early; we travel and we like camping in the mountains, ”says Lourdes.
Silver weddings
Ana and Michael Betancourt will celebrate their 25 years of marriage today with a Mass at the Cathedral of Our Lady of Los Angeles, but they will also make a trip to Rome in May to celebrate their anniversary surrounded by 28 members of their family, including their children Matthew 21 years old and Samuel 18 years old.
In Rome, the archbishop of Fresno Joseph Brennan, former archbishop of the San Fernando Valley who married them 25 years ago, on June 24, at the San Lino parish in Norwalk, will officiate the Mass for their anniversary.
"It is a great dream that we have planned for three years, and a great honor that Archbishop Brennan accompanies us," says Ana.
The love story of this Hispanic couple residing in La Mirada was born when she was 17 years old; and he, 16 years old.
Daughter of parents from Zacatecas, Mexico, Ana says she fell in love with Michael, third generation of Mexicans, her good humor, and she liked that she was Catholic like her. "The fact that we shared the same faith for me was something important," he says.
Michael was captivated by Ana's beautiful eyes and her pretty face. But he really liked the love for his family. “He has a very welcoming family. His mother knew very little English, and I very little Spanish, and we helped each other to practice, ”he observes.
Ana does not hesitate to say that her faith in God and the practice of her beliefs has helped them a lot to stay united.
"But it has also helped us patience, traveling together and family vacations," he says.
Michael comments that the comunication is the most important part in the relationship, but also share the same values and stay strong in your faith.
“We see many couples who have failed who do not have God in their lives, or turn away from God. That is a big problem, ”he considers.
And he emphasizes that nowadays telephones and social networks alter life as a couple.
Ana trusts that they understand very well what a commitment is. “When we got married, we understood that we wanted to be together in good and bad; and that our marriage is forever. In our family we have very good examples, ”he says.
And notice that it is now very easy to divorce and is very accepted. "Marriage is seen as something disposable."
The greatest recommendation that the Betancourts have given their children is that they marry a good person, of the same faith if possible; because they believe that it will be easier for them to agree on the beliefs they are going to teach and other topics.
Michael has advised his two children, first and foremost, if they want their marriage to last, they must always respect their wife, keep God in their marriage and learn what a commitment is.
How do they keep the spark of love?
Ana says that for her traveling and walking is very important and they try to do it as much as possible. "We go out to dinner too often," he says. Michel instead says that he is happy spending time with Ana, going to dinner, walking together, talking and sharing the things of the day.
How do they resolve an anger? ”
Ana says she tries to put things in perspective and wonders, how important is that. “Many times I realize that I am getting angry at something that does not have much value, that maybe it has come out because I am in a bad mood. Will you see he did something? … Sometimes I am responsible. Realize that, turn off the lawsuit; and I say, what a fool to fight for insignificant things, ”he notes.
Michael has a hard time thinking about things before speaking, stepping back and listening to his wife.
“Sometimes there is too much pride in couples. I've learned to listen and not be afraid to say, I'm sorry, ”he says.
Ana is very happy because in addition to the wedding anniversary, Michael has begun his process to become a deacon in the Catholic Church.
Gold wedding
Guadalupe and Héctor Guerrero celebrate today, February 9, their 50 years of marriage. They will arrive at the Cathedral of Our Lady of Los Angeles, from Goleta to the south of Santa Barbara County accompanied by their five children, Nellie, 49, Héctor Daniel, 48, Veronica, 47, Wendy, 45, and Carlos Alejandro 41 years old
"We are very happy. We thank God for our children and 13 grandchildren, ”says Guadalupe.
Both she and her husband are from San Francisco del Rincón, a town in Guanajuato, Mexico. They met in the neighborhood block when she was 16; and he, 17.
“We looked at each other for the first time when I went to the store, he smiled at me, I corresponded to him, and it was until he was encouraged to talk to me,” recalls Guadalupe.
When she turned 19, and he 20, they got married. “I liked my husband's eyes. He has them very pretty, ”he says laughing.
Hector trusts that he fell in love with his wife, his joy and that he liked dancing and walking at the party. "I didn't know how to dance, and she taught me," he says.
A few years after getting married, Héctor emigrated to the United States in search of a better life for his family, leaving Guadalupe with three children.
“He promised us that one day he would bring us, but things were very difficult in the town, even though I had a lot of support from my family. I grabbed my three children and, struggling, I came to Tijuana. It took me four days to arrive, ”he shares.
Her husband was very angry when he told her that he was already at the border. "He told me he was not ready to receive us," he recalls.
On the second attempt, Guadalupe managed to cross the border and reunite with her husband. “It gives me the chills of remembering everything we went through. It was a very difficult adventure, ”he says.
Installed in Santa Barbara, they had two more children.
“We have survived as a marriage because we have supported each other. Although he is courageous, we have understood each other, having God ahead, ”says Guadalupe.
However, he admits that communication and dialogue has saved them. “And if we get angry. Before, sometimes I let him talk for days, but then things happened with the children and we were content. Of course the reconciliations were very good, and those have kept us together, ”he says.
Hector acknowledges that machismo greatly damages a relationship, especially when man does not want to give his arm a twist. “Many prefer to separate rather than yield. I realized that women and men have the same rights, I learned to use dialogue and thank God we continue here, ”he says.
