When the Covid-19 crisis started to sweep the world, Béatrice Leon had a feeling that many immigrants know: “I wanted to be closer to my family“, Says this French woman who has lived in New York for almost thirty years. When Donald Trump decided to suspend the entry to American soil of most travelers from Europe, she felt the containment measures currently in force coming.
After a few sleepless nights and a conversation with her brother in Australia, she decided to pack her bags and return to France temporarily. “I thought I was going to get stuck. I felt very far from my family. As I am not married, I have no children, no professional obligations in the United States, I returned“.
In the life of any expatriate, there are times when distance and distance gallop. The new coronavirus crisis is one of them. Like the death of a loved one in France, the birth of a niece or a nephew or the marriage of a friend on the other side of the Atlantic, the virus has the effect of sending each immigrant back to his or her decision to leave his country and his family or even the guilt that may result. “This leads to professional questions. We re-evaluate the meaning of our own life“, Explains Los Angeles French psychologist Marc Pistorio.
“Not being able to be there for those we love”
The Covid-19 creates unique physical and psychological challenges for immigrants. While it is easy to make a round trip to France in normal times, flight restrictions and containment measures make travel difficult. The result is a feeling of helplessness "terrible", according to the psychologist. “We are faced with the inability to actively support those we love. It brings us back to our conception of death and the fact that we cannot be there for people who are ill“.
Coach and hypnotherapist in London, Pia Granjon-Lecerf abounds. “The Covid-19 does not change the usual distance challenges. However, we don't know if we will be able to meet again. The loyalty syndrome is undermined with greater intensity because an external authority prevents us from flying. Expatriates today have lost control of the bond with loved ones“.
The Frenchwoman, who posted a series of videos on stress management during Covid-19, observes this anxiety in the expatriate mothers whom she follows. “It is generated by the fact of having no direct action on the protection of their child“. According to the expert, the anxiety of “not to see each other again”Can lead to panic attacks and phobic behaviors that translate“fear of death“. “A phobia is a complete loss of control. It’s something that takes precedence over our lives“.
To face the challenges of expatriation at the time of Covid-19, experts recommend communicating as much as possible with loved ones in France, keeping in mind that possible differences in the degree of confinement authorized can cause misunderstandings about the realities that everyone experiences. “We have to go back to an agenda: make sure that we observe symbolic dates, like birthdays, make a calendar of which we will call and start a rotation, suggests Marc Pistorio. This is an opportunity to reconnect with certain people that we saw sporadically“.
“The most important thing, adds Pia Granjon Lecerf, is to take care of yourself to be available for children or parents“.
“Need to get closer”
This Covid-19 era is unique in that even those who have returned to France do not necessarily see their families more than when they were abroad, due to the containment measures in force in the country. Béatrice Leon, who is alone in her residence in Guéthary in the Pyrénées-Atlantique, recognizes the ironic side of the situation. “It's better than if I was on the other side of the ocean. It still allows you to speak more regularly to the family, she explains. My brother in France was worried about knowing me so far. I thought I couldn't do this to him“. She also took advantage of her return to give English lessons to her nephews and nieces on the Zoom videoconferencing platform.
Sandrine Mehrez-Kukurudz, co-founder of an event agency and author, decided to go the distance to celebrate her birthday in March. Staying in New York, she invited twenty friends from the Big Apple, Miami and France to Zoom to slash champagne and fruit juice. She hadn't seen certain faces in a year. “It was the most moving birthday of my life, she admits. There is a need to get closer. We need love right now. This birthday was like a big hug“. The Covid-19 may widen the distance, but it doesn't bury friendship.
On the same subject: Ask your questions during our webinar:Well-being and immune system in containment with Sylvain Coulon and Marie Vieillard Tuesday March 31 at 12pm EST. Registration here.
